After driving 4 hours, one leg returning home from Spooky Empire, I have been dying to get this blog out of my head. It has had many iterations. Here goes…
A Comic Con is like a dysfunctional family reunion. Everyone there thinks they are the normal one. Everyone else is crazy.
A Comic Con is like a DMV. You forever suffer torture at hands of those hired to help your experience in line for that thing you really wanted since you were 13 then run out to show the whole world, gleefully complaining about experience.
A Comic Con is like a summer block buster movie. If you go in with low expectations, mediocrity seems great.
A Comic Con is like a Church. A place of worship run and attended by naturally imperfectly flawed human beings being judged by ignorance from the outside.
Good People Do Shitty Things
While there are a few outright aholes, most bad experiences at cons are caused by brief moments.
Most times the “offending” party has no clue they offended. They were tired. They got impatient. They were so hyper focused on their agenda they did not realize they neglected everyone else, cut in line, stole your moment etc etc etc
The most giving person, under extreme stress, will go into fight or flight mode. As their best friend always at their side, we are there for the good, bad ans ugly. Somwtimes that means our head getting bit.
There are far too many fandom stories of former friends that now hate each other.
Most people suck at spacial awareness. I have seen someone bump Into things all day then snap at the first person that bumps them. Across of Spooky Empire XFest table was a 7 foot Frankenstein foam rubber or similar material statue. I watched a dozen nearly knock it over in just 5 minutes. Cons are crowded. Breathe. Chill.
Everyone gets tired. I personally have at least one break down per con. When someone snaps it may not be you. I am eternally grateful for my xfiles family that has put up with my best AND worst times.
Volunteers are under paid and under trained. They are there to help but most often less able to help than supposedly paid/trained customer service reps at the phone/cable company.
Getting stupid gets you no where. Keep cool. Losing shit more likely to get you into padded cell than more quickly see your celeb of choice.
Everyone at the con has over paid to be there.
Celebs are people too. They are not gods. They get tired and impatient too. They have to see 100s of people in a few hours that expect a deep connection. If they seem annoyed it is probably not you. Smile and nice them to death. Don’t demand too much. When you put folks too high on pedestal or have agenda, you may get burned when reality bites.
Look them in eye. Smile. Thank them for their work. Keep it simple and get a smile back.
Chances are that question you think is amazing original is either heare 1000 times by them or not appropriate. Put self in their shows before asking.
Most times they have no time for conversation.
When they have no time for you, it is not you or them. The situation dictates, or the handlers and con managers are driving them.
If they are in bad mood, it is not you. Someone was creepy right before you. Some recover from that better than others.
Don’t Sweat It.
Cons are a poorly unoiled machine cranking out personal photos and autographs and collectibles. Manage your expectations.
The best of us are imperfect beings.
Next time some one seems to be being shitty, breathe BEFORE you respond.
If a friend, BREATH, pause than take a moment to communicate your frustration to your friend, BEFORE venting to everyone else.
Con Buddy Cycle
You offend me (lawyer speak translation- hypathetical YOU purposefully or accidentally being shitty to hypothetical ME)
I get pissed
You get defensive
We both complain to others
The group now becomes two factions hating each other
In other words, middle school. Let’s start being adults. Honest communication sometimes is like ripping off the band aid – far more scary than painful- but avoids a lot of misunderstanding. It can mean the difference between hate and life long friends.
A one minute convo now can become a life time of resentment later.
My only agenda is to meet people and have fun. Every thing else is a bonus. I actually fear I offended folks this past weekend. We had 50+ frienda. Not sure I had a complete convo with anyone. I love you all.
What ever your agenda is at events, know that it is YOUR own. Also know things WILL happen you are not expecting. Be prepared for plan adjustments. Be prepared for potential chaos. Keep cool and you can survive anything.
EVERY CON i have ever attended has been the birth AND death of great friendships.
I apologize and beg forgiveness any time I have caused the latter. @waltfrasier
My dream is that #thexfiles fandom could become example for entire world plagued by tribalism. Over come hate based on lies and misunderstandings. Stop gossipping and causing pain. Riae above. Build bridges.
Focus on what makes brings us together.
Celebrate what makes us different.
Worry about self less.